Wednesday, December 31, 2003


sitting here
you want me to play
a game
I don't know the rules to
a game
you know I can't win
sometimes I think
you just want to see me lose

I want to cut myself
just to know I'm still living
I wonder sometimes
these days
you are never more alive
than when you watch your blood flow
I want to let myself starve
so that I truly know what hunger is
you can never really appreciate anything
until it is gone from you
I want to scream
to be sure I still have a voice
I've been silent for so long
for too long
I want to feel alive again
I am half dead
half asleep
a zombie walking through my days
I go through all the motions
acting out my life
as if I am really there