Okay, just pause. Now take a deep breath. Okay good, now another one. One more. Don't you feel better now? I do.
Note for the day -
None of the little things can bother you. They are as rain is to a duck. They will just roll right off of you, unable to affect you. Don't forget that it's easy to be nice to a pleasant person, but it's a mark of true character to be nice to a difficult one. Even if they make you want to puncture your own eardrums with a rusty bicycle spoke so that you don't have to listen to them. Even when you literally have to bite your tongue to keep from saying something unkind.
Now a couple more deep breaths. Breath in. Now out. Inhale. And exhale. Now you're ready to be polite again, if you can't avoid them for the rest of the day.
Friday, August 18, 2006
Thursday, August 17, 2006
A letter to a younger me...
(This is something I posted on a "If you could write a letter to your younger self, what would it say?" thread on a message board I go to.
Dear Younger Me,
Have some fun. Do something crazy. Go ahead and take a dip in the town pool in the middle of the night with your best friend. This is the only time in your life that you are going to be able to get away with it. Soon you'll be "old enough to know better," and will have to act like a mature adult. You'll look back later and wish you had done it.
Don't worry about what other people think of you. It really doesn't matter. Confidence is one of the most attractive traits a person can have. Don't be afraid to be yourself. When you look back, you'll be proud that you dared to do your own thing. You know that you think a little differently than most people. That's okay. It's a strength in fact, not a weakness. There is a place where you fit in, where people will understand you. It's just not this little town, and that's okay too.
Be kinder to yourself. You are such a compassionate person, so accepting of other people. Save a little bit of that acceptance for yourself. It's okay to fall sometimes. The important thing is that you get back up again. It's okay to need others, and to ask for help. It's okay to not always have control over every aspect of yourself. It's okay to cry, and to get angry. You don't have to be nice and quiet and good all the time. In fact, it's not good for you to keep it all in.
Pay attention when you make mistakes. Examine them thoroughly. Figure out where and why you fell short in the first place. There is a lesson you need to learn in there somewhere. If you don't get it the first time, it's just going to repeat itself until you do get it. Usually with more severity, trouble and misery. You don't want that, trust me.
Don't ever settle for 'Good enough, I guess'. If it (or he) isn't what you want, or need than there is something better for you out there. Maybe it's just not time for it yet.
Stop worrying so much about finding love. Enjoy being single for a few years. Relationships complicate your life in ways you don't think of beforehand. That backpacking trip through Europe? All of the sudden making the decision to go takes a lot more consideration. Even just picking up and moving to a new city is a lot more difficult to do. Enjoy just dating for a while. Then once you do meet some one, you'll be ready to a little more tied down, and a lot wiser about relationships, and what you want from them.
Go outside more. Spend more time in the woods, in the mountains. Appreciate the nature around you more. Someday you'll move away from them. You'll long to be back with them every day. You will miss them more than you ever thought it was possible to miss anything. VT will always be your first, truest, and fiercest love.
Stop waiting for that 'something' that is always around the corner. Your life is speeding by while you're waiting for it to start!
With much love,
Older (and a little wiser) Me
P.S. - Don't start smoking. It will take you many tries & a lot of frustration at yourself later on to quit. Even then the temptation to start again will still be there. You'll be happier and healthier if you just don't do it in the first place!
Dear Younger Me,
Have some fun. Do something crazy. Go ahead and take a dip in the town pool in the middle of the night with your best friend. This is the only time in your life that you are going to be able to get away with it. Soon you'll be "old enough to know better," and will have to act like a mature adult. You'll look back later and wish you had done it.
Don't worry about what other people think of you. It really doesn't matter. Confidence is one of the most attractive traits a person can have. Don't be afraid to be yourself. When you look back, you'll be proud that you dared to do your own thing. You know that you think a little differently than most people. That's okay. It's a strength in fact, not a weakness. There is a place where you fit in, where people will understand you. It's just not this little town, and that's okay too.
Be kinder to yourself. You are such a compassionate person, so accepting of other people. Save a little bit of that acceptance for yourself. It's okay to fall sometimes. The important thing is that you get back up again. It's okay to need others, and to ask for help. It's okay to not always have control over every aspect of yourself. It's okay to cry, and to get angry. You don't have to be nice and quiet and good all the time. In fact, it's not good for you to keep it all in.
Pay attention when you make mistakes. Examine them thoroughly. Figure out where and why you fell short in the first place. There is a lesson you need to learn in there somewhere. If you don't get it the first time, it's just going to repeat itself until you do get it. Usually with more severity, trouble and misery. You don't want that, trust me.
Don't ever settle for 'Good enough, I guess'. If it (or he) isn't what you want, or need than there is something better for you out there. Maybe it's just not time for it yet.
Stop worrying so much about finding love. Enjoy being single for a few years. Relationships complicate your life in ways you don't think of beforehand. That backpacking trip through Europe? All of the sudden making the decision to go takes a lot more consideration. Even just picking up and moving to a new city is a lot more difficult to do. Enjoy just dating for a while. Then once you do meet some one, you'll be ready to a little more tied down, and a lot wiser about relationships, and what you want from them.
Go outside more. Spend more time in the woods, in the mountains. Appreciate the nature around you more. Someday you'll move away from them. You'll long to be back with them every day. You will miss them more than you ever thought it was possible to miss anything. VT will always be your first, truest, and fiercest love.
Stop waiting for that 'something' that is always around the corner. Your life is speeding by while you're waiting for it to start!
With much love,
Older (and a little wiser) Me
P.S. - Don't start smoking. It will take you many tries & a lot of frustration at yourself later on to quit. Even then the temptation to start again will still be there. You'll be happier and healthier if you just don't do it in the first place!
30 Q's
These are supposedly 30 questions that no one would EVER think to ask. Answer them with what comes to mind first.
1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was your first thought?
Oh good, the mirror's not foggy.
2. When is the next time you will have sex?
The next time I want to.
3. What's a word that rhymes with "DUCK"?
luck
4. Favorite planet?
Jupiter
5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your mobile?
Trevor
6. What is your favorite ring on your phone?
The Cure - Friday I'm In Love although to be honest it's usually on vibrate.
7. What shirt are you wearing?
Pink stretchy tank top that I sleep in.
8. What were you doing 20 minutes ago?
Posting on a message board.
9. Name the brand of shoes you're currently wearing?
I'm barefoot.
10. Bright or Dark Room?
Dark
11. What do you think about the person who took this survey?
I think she's pretty kick ass! I'd love to meet her someday! *L*
12. If you're in a room with two beds, which one do you sleep on?
The one farthest from the window.
13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Watching Scrubs season 3, thinking that I should be sleeping.
"Im runing very late. at an event with my boss will be 1 os 2 hrs"
15. How do you like your eggs?
cooked
16. What's a word/phrase that you say a lot?
"Why do you hate freedom?" (Said in a joking manner to some one who just did something inconvenient to you, or foolish.)
17.Who told you he/she loved you last?
Kyle
18. Last furry thing you touched?
My cat.
19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?
Only one, and it's the one I have a Rx for.
20. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed?
None, I've switched to digital.
21. Favorite age you have been so far?
27, They seem to be getting better as I get older.
22. Your worst enemy?
I would like to think that I don't have any enemies. If I had to put something down though, I would have to say myself.
23. What is your current desktop picture?
Amon from Witch Hunter Robin
24. What was the last thing you said to someone?
I love you too. Have fun.
25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly?
I'd want to fly.
26. What do you wish you were doing right now?
Time spent wishing is time wasted.
27. The last song you listened to?
Nixon, by The Magic Is Gone.
28. If the last person you spoke to was getting shot at, what would you do?
kick some ass
29. If you could punch 1 person in the face who's in your life right now, who would it be?
James, because his lack of desire to do his job properly causes my job to be much more difficult.
30. What is the closest object to your left foot?
The bottom of the desk.
Homesick
I am so fucking homesick right now. All I want is to be back in Vermont. Back among the mountains. With out them around me I feel lost. Exposed. I'm terrified that I might never get back. So here's to the Green Mountain State, and the piece of my soul that will always reside there.
"The mountains are calling and I must go." (John Muir)
"Thousands of tired, nerve-shaken, over-civilized people are beginning to find out that going to the mountain is going home; that wildness is necessity; that mountain parks and reservations are useful not only as fountains of timber and irrigating rivers, but as fountains of life." (John Muir)
"No matter how sophisticated you may be, a large granite mountain cannot be denied - it speaks in silence to the very core of your being." (Ansel Adams)
"Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower." (Albert Camus)
"In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer." (Albert Camus)
"In some mysterious way woods have never seemed to me to be static things. In physical terms, I move through them; yet in metaphysical ones, they seem to move through me." (John Fowles)
"I go to nature to be soothed and healed, and to have my senses put in order. " (John Burroughs)
"Marry a mountain girl and you marry the whole mountain. " (Irish Saying)
"Once you have heard the lark, known the swish of feet through hill-top grass and smelt the earth made ready for the seed, you are never again going to be fully happy about the cities and towns that man carries like a crippling weight upon his back". (Gwyn Thomas)
There you have it folks- my photo tribute to Vermont.
"The mountains are calling and I must go." (John Muir)
"Thousands of tired, nerve-shaken, over-civilized people are beginning to find out that going to the mountain is going home; that wildness is necessity; that mountain parks and reservations are useful not only as fountains of timber and irrigating rivers, but as fountains of life." (John Muir)
"No matter how sophisticated you may be, a large granite mountain cannot be denied - it speaks in silence to the very core of your being." (Ansel Adams)
"Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower." (Albert Camus)
"In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer." (Albert Camus)
"In some mysterious way woods have never seemed to me to be static things. In physical terms, I move through them; yet in metaphysical ones, they seem to move through me." (John Fowles)
"I go to nature to be soothed and healed, and to have my senses put in order. " (John Burroughs)
"Marry a mountain girl and you marry the whole mountain. " (Irish Saying)
"Once you have heard the lark, known the swish of feet through hill-top grass and smelt the earth made ready for the seed, you are never again going to be fully happy about the cities and towns that man carries like a crippling weight upon his back". (Gwyn Thomas)
There you have it folks- my photo tribute to Vermont.
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