Monday, May 15, 2006

Playlist

Okay, I'm going to do something a little different today. I'm not quite ready to talk about what's been going on lately, so I'm going to put down the lyrics for the songs that I have been listening to a lot, and are descriptive of how I'm feeling.

The Loudest Sound - The Cure
Side by side in silence
They pass away the day
So comfortable, so habitual ...
And so nothing left to say
...
And side by side in silence
Without a single word...
...
It's the loudest sound I ever heard


Underneath the Ice - Assemblage 23
I can feel the violence
Spill across the floor
My eyes have grown too clouded
To see it anymore

Fading into nothing
Turning into steam
Left in desparation
With nothing to redeem

Underneath the ice I find
A place to rest my weary mind
The cold deep water numbs my pain
Until I can face myself again

Waiting for redemption
That never seems to come
Hands reach beneath the surface
But I don't know where from

I'm not ready to return yet
I just need a moment more
So I can try to remember
What it is I came here for

Underneath the ice I find
A place to rest my weary mind
The cold deep water numbs my pain
Until I can face myself again

Sinking Fast
Too dark to see
The buzzing din
Envelopes me
Too late now
Nowhere to go
I'm sinking in
The undertow


Cooling - Tori Amos
Maybe I didn't like to hear
But I still can't believe
Speed Racer is dead
So then I thought I'd make some plans
But fire thought she'd really rather be water instead
...
And I've heard every word that you have said
And I know I have been driven like the snow
This is cooling
Faster than I can
This is cooling
Faster than I can
...
So then love walked up to like
And said I know that you don't like me much
Let's go for a ride
...
And I've heard every word that you have said
And I know I have been driven like the snow, but
This is cooling
Faster than I can
Hey yes, faster than I can
Hey, this is cooling
This is cooling

Love Will Tear Us Apart -Joy Division
When routine bites hard,
And ambitions are low,
And resentment rides high,
But emotions won't grow,
And we're changing our ways,
Taking different roads.

Then love, love will tear us apart again.
Love, love will tear us apart again.

Why is the bedroom so cold?
You've turned away on your side.
Is my timing that flawed?
Our respect runs so dry.
Yet there's still this appeal
That we've kept through our lives.

But love, love will tear us apart again.
Love, love will tear us apart again.

You cry out in your sleep,
All my failings exposed.
And there's a taste in my mouth,
As desperation takes hold.
Just that something so good
Just can't function no more.

But love, love will tear us apart again.
Love, love will tear us apart again.
Love, love will tear us apart again.
Love, love will tear us apart again.


Signal To Noise - The Cure

Nothing I do makes much sense
Say you don't really get me anymore
I wonder if you ever did... if you ever did at all?

Nothing I want means a lot
Say you don't understand me like before
I'm not sure if you ever did... if you ever did at all?

Nothing I think has a point
Say you don't quite believe me anymore
I wonder if you ever did... if you ever did at all?

Gets hard to guess the best way through
The thing to do if none of this is true
I wish I knew how to undo
The doubt I hide inside
I grew in you...

The knot I hide inside I tied in you...

Nothing I am shows the way
Say you don't seem to know me like before
I'm not sure if you ever did... if you ever did at all?

No nothing I do makes much sense
Say you don't really get me anymore
I wonder if you ever did... if you ever did at all?

Gets hard to guess the best way through
The thing to do if none of this is true
I wish I knew how to undo
The knot I tied in you...
When more or less the yes and no
Is all for show it isn't really so...
Look high and low where did we go?
You moved too fast or maybe I just moved too slow?

There's so much noise...
All the signal seems to fade away
Too much noise...

Or could be this is how it always sounds
With nothing left?


Northern Lad-Tori Amos
Had a northern lad
Well not exactly had
He moved like the sunset
God who painted that
First he love my accent
How his knees could bend
I thought we'd be ok
Me and my molasses

But I feel someting is wrong
But I feel this cake just isn't done
Don't say that you Don't
And if you could see me now
Said if you could see me now
Girls you've got to know
When it's time to turn the page
When you're only wet
Because of the rain

He don't show much these days
It's gets so fucking cold
I loved his secret places
But I can't go anymore
"you change like sugar cane"
Says me northern lad
I guess you go too far
When pianos try to be guitars

I feel the west in you
And I feel it falling apart too
Don't say that you Don't
And if you could see me now

Said if you could see me now
Girls you've got to know
When it's time to turn the page
When you're only wet
Because of the rain
When you're only wet
Because of the rain


Cocoon - Assemblage 23
Even though I know it's only chemical
These peaks and valleys are beginning to take their toll
Try to convince myself that all it takes is time
But the most derisive voice I hear is mine

It opens all the scars on me
It leaves me shaken in my belief
It takes my hand just to drag me down
It makes me a stranger in the crowd

Give me isolation just for now
I feel a hard rain coming down
I promise that I will be back soon
But for now I'll return to my cocoon

There is thunder in the distance and the sky grows gray
There is lightning in the clouds in search of prey
It's not a matter of if as much as when
The clouds will break and the rainfall will begin

It opens all the scars on me
It leaves me shaken in my belief
It takes my hand just to drag me down
It makes me a stranger in the crowd

Give me isolation just for now
I feel a hard rain coming down
I promise that I will be back soon
But for now
I'll return to my cocoon

Cracks in the chrysalis spread out like tiny snakes
That hiss a litany of rumors and mistakes
But I'm afraid their cause is fraught with futility
There is nothing more that they can take from me
It opens all the scars on meIt leaves me shaken in my belief
It takes my hand just to drag me down
It makes me a stranger in the crowd

Give me isolation just for now
I feel a hard rain coming down
I promise that I will be back soon
But for now I'll return to my cocoon








Comments:

____________________________________________________________
Xombii
05/16/06 01:01 AM

I understand, but I believe that we will be alright. I believe in you, I believe in me, and I believe in us. I have played this song over and over, It says what I am feeling almost perfectly (especially the parts I have highlighted). Remember that I love you, and that I will always love you.

-Buttercup

Tell her not to go
I ain't holding on no more
Tell her something in my mind freezes up from time to time

Tell her not to cry
I just got scared that's all
Tell her I'll be by her side, all she has to do is call

Tell her the chips are down
I drank too much and shouted it aloud
Tell her something in my heart
Needs her more than even clouns need the laughter of the crowd


Tell her what was wrong
I sometimes think too much
But say nothing at all
Tell her from this high Terrain, I am ready now to fall


Tell her not to go
I Ain't holding on no more
Tell her nothing if not this; all I want to do is kiss her

Tell her somthing in my mind
Freezes up from time to time


_______________________________________________________


Patience
05/17/06 9:28AM

Hey baby. I'm sorry that you're hurting right now. I wish I could be there to give you a huge hug... I will be in a couple of days and even if you can't come to my mama's house, I will try to get over to your house - even for an hour - just so I can give you a hug.

I love you Trish!

Patience



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