Thursday, June 08, 2006

Ah, to be 17 again part 2 - teen-age angst

Dance of the Demons
They came back last night
To sit on my bed
They came back last night
To take me for dead
Demons dancing in my head
Singing in my mind
Demons dancing in my head
Say "Come, be of our kind"
Don't want the dark to come
They come with the fleeing of light
Don't want the dark to come
I won't get any sleep tonight

Demon eyes
if you look closely
in my eyes
you can see
the demons
that haunt me
that drive me
from me
that make me
want to end it all
so I can finally
get some

Momma, sit up with me tonight
I don't want to sleep
The monster in my closet moved
Into my head
And he won't go away
Momma, sit up with me tonight
I don't want to dream
Shadowy spider webs trap me
In their world
Where I always die
Momma, sit up with me tonight
I don't want to cry

Fell out of my shell again
Pick up the pieces
Before somebody notices
And if they don't all fit
Well it's okay
I can do without
And if I put it all together wrong
Well that's okay too
At least I'm whole again
Fell out of my shell again
Better pick up the pieces
Before I notice

Eyes Sewn Shut
Mother, open your eyes,
Father, is it such a big surprise?
That I turned out this way,
That I'm not okay?
When you said I'd be a loser, an embarrassment to you,
After all those years, how could I not think it true?
A little faith was all I was needing,
And maybe my heart wouldn't be bleeding
I had to find my solace somehow,
Drugs and alcohol showed me how.
Life is a game I cannot win,
Although I may give up, I will not give in.
To your ideals and society's way,
What I feel is what I will say.
Because you had no faith, because you didn't believe,
Neither did I, and it is pain that I leave.
If you ever cared why didn't you say so?
Then maybe this wouldn't be the path I would have to go.
(Although the rest are all from my emotions/ experiences, this one has a large strand of truth at it's center, but is exaggerated a bit.)

Fading into the light
I lost my darkness somewhere
Tried to get it back
Found myself in nowhere
Slipped into the sun
Could not find a raindrop
Without the pouring water
Somehow felt my soul drop
Pulled off my star
Free falling in this lost space
Where is my shadowy comfort?
Need to find my own space

Harsh fluorescent light
From dull dusty lips
Hard cracked cement
Forms hand, feet, hips
Not all that special
Guess after all I'm like the rest
Just a rusty piece of metal
Far from the best
Mind made of brick
Heart made of stone
Is it any wonder
That I feel alone?

Wow! Everything seemed so much larger back then, didn't it? It seems like there really wasn't a lot of middle ground. Everything was either great, or terrible. I'm glad I've found some balance since then! I'm also glad to have learned that a poem doesn't have to rhyme to be good!

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